Good Intentions are born from one's heart but may live in one's conscience as regret
03/01/2012
How many times have you tried to be supportive or help someone and you had the best intentions only to cause hurt or offend that person? I'm talking about a situation in which you thought you were doing something good for someone with no malicious intent at all, yet for whatever reason it just didn't go as planned. It happens every single minute of every second. What we all hope for is that the other person realizes that our actual intentions were not meant to hurt or offend in any way.
As the saying goes, no good intention goes unpunished, but in order to find peace within oneself it's best to not hesitate and continue to live your life without questioning yourself. If you truly do have good intentions then you should try your best to not have any regrets and realize you have no control over the situation once you've decided to act on your intentions. Sometimes when things go bad, it is a valuable lesson learned in which it helps one grow. Other times if we are honest with ourself we look back and realize that our intentions were in fact not honest. Either way you have to apologize to the hurt or offended person.
Now depending on the severity of how badly the situation turned out will play a part on how much regret you will experience. Each person deals with regret differently and the feelings you may have about how the situation turned badly can lead to resentment. You have to understand that even though your intentions were not malicious that you have no control over how someone reacts to something. And you have to find a way to forgive that person for mistaking your intentions but the best thing for you to do is to make amends for hurting that person.
The Poison of Resentment
02/25/2012
Actress Susan Saint James, in a TV interview after the terrible plane crash that claimed the life of her 14 year old son Teddy, and injured her husband, NBC Sports Chairman Dick Ebersol, and her son Charles, made the following brilliant statement: “Resentment is like taking poison and then expecting the other person to die.” Even in the face of her great loss, she is not angry, blaming, or resentful.
Resentment and blame are poisons to the soul. They are far more harmful to you than to anyone else. Our ego/wounded self believes that if we blame and resent someone, we can somehow have control over that person or over the outcome of things. But what the resentment really does is pull us into the darkness of seeing ourselves as a victim.
It’s very helpful to think of resentment as poisoning yourself while expecting the other to somehow be hurt by it. If you can think of anger, blame and resentment as poisons to the soul, perhaps this will make it easier to release these dark feelings. Read more
Dealing with Heartache
02/21/2012
After a break up, it's hard to even think about the future let alone prepare for it. The pain of the heartache is immense especially if you are not the one that decided to end the relationship. Time heals all wounds and that is true when it comes to grief. There are five stages of grief which include: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Each person will stay longer in a certain stage than others but we all deal with each stage eventually. Suicidal thoughts are not uncommon but the only thing that will solve is the end of the pain in this life. Suicide is one of the most selfish acts one can perform as it causes more pain to those who love you.
You want to know what the magic pill is to get over heartache? Look in the mirror and you will be staring right at it. Things happen for a reason and the best thing you can do now is to work on yourself and find out what makes you happy. In time you will begin to self reflect and learn from this experience. Trust in yourself. Yes the pain does not go away just because you want it, but if you can find the energy or the support to get out and improve on yourself, then this is the best thing for you. Start a new workout regime or try that hobby you always wanted to but didn't have time to. If you want the person back that you just lost, do you think they will want someone who is desperate and down in misery or a better you? Also, don't jump into another relationship but give your time to heal. Sometimes we want to replace what we lost immediatly but it could just lead to bitter feelings and what happens if the person you lost, wants you back? Even if you don't want to be back with that person, your main focus should be on yourself and what makes you happy.
Self Reflection
02/17/2012
Self reflection is the process in which a person thinks, reasons and examines one's own thoughts, actions and feelings also known as introspection. When I think back to different times in my life, I try to determine what my thoughts and feelings were so that I may explain my actions. In years past, I have made plenty of mistakes and used self reflection to try to learn from those mistakes. Self reflection does not guarantee we will make the correct decision in every situation. When we take certain actions, we have to realize if we had good intentions or malicious intent. When we look back at a terrible moment in our life we may feel regret, resentment or even anger. These are the moments I self reflect on the most to try to gain a better understanding of myself and learn about me personally.
In life there are no do overs. No time machine to undo what has been done no matter how badly we want it. Things happen for a reason and when we make a mistake that causes us great pain and hurt, we need to be able to accept our faults and ask for forgiveness. If you can't learn from your mistakes, you are doomed to repeat them. Self reflection is a means to learn from these mistakes and if ever given a second chance, make sure to continue to self reflect.
If you are righteous in the actions you take, meaning you have good intentions, then the chances of having regret are lessened. If someone is malicious to you, then do your best not to feel the want to "get even" but rather forgive and be a better person for it. I wish I would have learned to do these things many years ago, then the pain and hurt I feel now would not exist.